Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Common Sense FYI...

To me these items are just normal common sense items that I don't think twice about - I just do them or don't:

The Public Bathroom:

1. Don't talk on the phone when you are using a public bathroom. It's sick. NO conversation is that important.

A. Think about all the germs you are touching, then transferring them to your phone - think about what body part is close to your now germ/bacteria infested phone.... IT'S YOUR MOUTH DUMMY.

B. I don't want to hear your conversation about what Suzy or Tommy said to you or how traffic sucked or what your plans are for the weekend while I am using the bathroom. IT'S CREEPY.

2. If you have to flush the toilet every other second then maybe you should go see a doctor. I swear there is a woman that is always in the bathroom when I am and she flushes over and over again. I ALWAYS make a hasty exit.

3. WASH YOUR HANDS FOR christsake. Ugh.

4. Don't hang out in the bathroom to carry on a conversation with someone else.

Driving:

This could get ugly so I'm going to try to keep it brief.

1. Merging does not mean to stop and wait until it's clear.
2. Stopping in the middle of the street is really just stopping in the middle of street regardless of the person you are dropping off. Pull to the side of the road.
3. Use your fucking blinker when turning - otherwise you are just stopping in the middle of the street.
4. Use crosswalk. I don't want to damage my car by slamming into you.
5. Don't become a permanent fixture in someone's blindspot - also, check your blindspot before changing lanes.

Ending a relationship:

1. Make an effort. This is a person that you at one point cared about. Ending a relationship shouldn't be the same as ripping off a fucking band-aid. Come join the rest of us and be an adult.

A. After you do end a relationship with said person DON'T THEN EMAIL THEM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE WRITING ON THEIR OWN PERSONAL JOURNAL. JUST GO AWAY AS REQUESTED AND STOP READING SAID JOURNAL ALL TOGETHER. JUST FORGET YOU EVER KNEW ME - ER... OR SOME OTHER RANDOM UNKNOWN PERSON.

2. Learn from your mistakes instead of making the same ones over and over.




8 comments:

Parklife said...

Fantastic work.

Kelly said...

thanks... it's a nice release.

Violence Worker said...

Back in 1990, I arrived in CA crom overseas. I had to stay in a motel for a few days till I found an apartment. They had a phone in the bathroom!!! It was in Merced, for heaven's sake. It was a Best Western. I saw that and laughed my rear end off. I'm with ya on the cell phone rant. I turn mine off when I hit the restroom for more than to tap a kidney. That is disgusting to sit ther and yak. GROSS!!!

Good rant!

VW

Kelly said...

You know damn well that that phone wasn't cleaned much... sheesh.

Neo-Con Tastic said...

I dropped my phone in the urinal once.



LOL

Kelly said...

I'd ask.... but I really don't want to know.

NOBODY is more addicted to their cell phone than I am - email, text message etc.... but I draw the line at the bathroom.

Dawna said...

I really enjoyed your rant about driving! All of those things drive me nuts too. I just moved to Tucson and have noticed how absolutely RUDE people are here versus Louisville, Kentucky where I am from. While you are backing out of a parking spot in a lot, people will literally do anything to get around you instead of just waiting 5 seconds until you are pulled out. They will actually drive up on a curb to get around you. Absolutely ridiculous!!! Ugggh people!

Kelly said...

Well... I'll admit here that I have no patience when it comes to driving but even I wouldn't drive up on a curb to go around someone... yeah - actually I would.

Sorry Dawna and thanks for the comment.