Monday, April 21, 2008

Just trying to help

Read and learn guys.

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

Whatever: Is a women's way of saying up yours!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.*

11 comments:

Violence Worker said...

Is this out of manufacturer's manual or what?

Never mind - I can see a "Whatever" coming.

VW

Kelly said...

More like WHAT-ever. And an eye roll. I'm so good at it... and still single - go figure.

Walt said...

This is why God created Russian Mail Order brides:)

Cheers,
Walt

Rex Zeitgeist said...

Now you tell us!

Kelly said...

Better late than never huh Rex?? There's still hope for you.

And Walt - the Russian women prob do it too - just with an accent.

Walt said...

lol

Well it is a sexier accent, therefore better, and not as annoying:)

Cheers,
Walt

Kelly said...

I'll give you that. Accents are good for me too - East Coast or Southern... both good.

Mike said...

Thanks, I'm taking notes her, cutie...

Kelly said...

Live it. Learn it Mike.

Mike said...

I think I need some "hands on" training, Kel...

Kelly said...

ha.