I have the honor of paying tribute to Howard Gelling Jr. Howard was a Managing Director at Sandler O'Neill and Partners, working on the 104th floor of Two World Trade Center. He is survived by his wife Christine O'Reilly, devoted son of Howard, Sr. and Dorothy, loving brother of Deborah and William, dear grandson of Margaret Cleary and Myrtle Gelling. Also survived by many loving aunts, uncles and cousins.
This ws left from his mother and I hope no one take offense tht I am posting it here. I hope we all remember that devestating day. I knew no one that died on that day but my heard breaks for each of them.
It has been a year and a half since we lost you Howard. It hasn't gotten any easier and, in some was, it's more difficult now. You gave so much to all of us. Inspiration, confidence, happiness, laughter and, most of all, you gave us your love. You were such an important part of our lives that it is so very difficult to go on wihout you.There is so much I could say. There is so much I should have said.You knew how much I loved you. You knew how proud I was of your success, but I hope you knew that I was prouder still of the man you became, of the outstanding person you were. A loyal friend, a terrific brother, a loving and devoted husband, a wonderful son. You were every mother's dream. You were my pride and joy."He" blessed you with intelligence, determination,compassion,generosity,a high moral character and the utmost integrity. I know there is a tendency to magnify the good traits and almost canonize the loved one you have lost. Anyone who knew you will know that I haven't exaggerated. I know you weren't a saint. You had your faults. You weren't perfect, but-you came pretty darn close. I take some comfort in knowing that you did more and accomplished more in just 28 years then most people do in a lifetime. You were content and you were so very happy.During your years at Purdue, the time you spent in Chicago and Boston and even after you returned to New York, we spoke more on the phone then we did in person. I doubt there were more then a dozen times in all those years when we didn't speak at least once a day. I would give anything to hear "Moma-love" in that unique, loud, funny way you had of saying it. I remember laughing almost every time I heard it. There are times I still answer the phone expecting to hear "mama-love".You told me one thing you were always sure of was that in every circumstance, good or bad, I was always there for you. I was there for you that day my son. I was totally helpless, utterly useless, but I was there. I could never describe the feeling that came over me as I looked up and knew that I had lost you. There is a feeling of emptiness in me. I haven't felt whole or complete since that moment. Remembering your faith has strengthened mine. I know where you are and that now you will always be there for me. I know the time will come when I will really smile and laugh and be truly happy again. I will no longer feel empty and for the first time since that awful day in September I will feel whole and complete. I will be with you.
Mom.
dorothy gelling,
brooklyn, New York
Howard obviously had many loved ones that I'm sure have tremendous heartbreak and are missing him. Here are some quotes that I found about him from Legacy.com:
I miss you Howie. Years have passed and yet there are moments when i feel as though we were just together. Maybe because i talk to you always...asking for a sign now and then to make sure you are listening. I wish you were here now. i will carry you in my heart always...your cousin lisa
Thinking of you today Howie. It's still sad to remember, but I admit I have been laughing as well remembering some pretty funny stuff you said to me at a fraternity party in an attempt to lure me back to Katherine Parker. You could have sold a plate of ribs to a woman wearing white gloves but there was no way you were getting me back there! You were something else. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Kathryn Boots,
Washington, District of Columbia
I miss you, Howie. You were one of the good ones.
Ted Funk,
Chicago, Illinois
I have wanted to write something for Howie for almost three years now but it hurt too much for me to get it done. Today is his 31st birthday and I would like people to know the incredible person he was and how much he meant to me. Howie was my older brother and the best man I have ever known. He is my idol and inspiration in every facet of life. The proudest moment in my life was standing on the alter at his wedding as his best man. He was a man of tremendous valor and moral conviction. He has set an example for me and many others alike of how life is meant to be lived. He has taught me, through both words and actions, how to truly be a good person. He was a loving husband, a successful business man, a caring family man, a devout catholic, and a patriot. He was truly fulfilled in every aspect of his life. Thank you Brother, for being such an amazing person. You will always be my best man.
Bill
Dear Howie, You left this world so abruptly, without even a good-bye. With so many of your visions never to have seen done. You touched so many of us and many never for us to know. So quitely you tried to change what many craved the praise. God wanted the very best that day for his work is never done. He saw your crystal eyes shine and he knew you were the one. So now you can fulfill your dreams, you have him to show you how. With love, Aunt Ceil
Cecilia Cleary,
Seaford, New York
December 19, 2003
Dear Howie, I don't know where to begin, maybe where we left off...you called me from work we spoke for a little while you said to me that after you returned home from Spain with Chrissy you wanted to come out the following weekend to see Marisa. I said that sounds great, I will see you then. If I only knew that was the last time I would ever speak to you. I wish I told you that I loved you and I wish I would of told you that I was proud to have you as my cousin. I miss you so much, nothing is the same with out you. It is a few days before Christmas, and alot of our memories together, the five of us, were around this time of the year. If I close my eyes I can still picture all of us sitting in the limo, or eating ice cream at Peppermint Park, and how ironic one of our funniest memories was the "strawberry incident" at Windows on the World. I can remember meeting you and Chrissy at Hemingway's to toast to your engagement and I remember the five of us joking at your trim a tree party that we would all start having the holidays now that we were all getting married and starting our own lives. What happened??? On that horrific September morning all of our hearts were broken. I will hold your memories safe in my heart for ever Howie. Love you, Lisa
Lisa Papania,
Bellmore, New York
